Chapter 49: Breaking and Establishing

Zhang Ziqiang: "Ever since we were kids, they only ever liked my older brother. Whatever my older brother did was always right. He was better than me at everything. He knew how to make them happy, he was better-looking, and he got better grades. Only he was their son, while I was just a shadow. No, more like a speck of mud on the wall. Keeping it is an eyesore, but scraping it off ruins the wall. My dad didn't even hit me; he just scolded me and subjected me to all sorts of humiliation. My mother always treated me as if I didn't exist. And yet, everyone else thought I was living in the lap of luxury without knowing how blessed I was."

"No matter how hard I racked my brain, I could never figure out how I could have prevented myself from being born, or how to keep my mother from having a difficult labor. What could I possibly have done to make them like me? When I was little, if someone beat me up, I wouldn't dare go home and tell them. Because they wouldn't comfort me or stand up for me; they would only blame me for causing trouble outside. I rushed to do chores, but they were never satisfied once. They complained that my cooking wasn't delicious, that my bowls and clothes weren't washed clean. Everything I did was wrong, no matter what."

"Cheng Shi, do you have any idea how much I envy you? You have parents and an older sister who protect you wholeheartedly. My family feels more like enemies. Yet I am so grateful to you. Cheng Shi, you were the only one willing to trust me, give me responsibilities, and praise me for doing a good job. Ever since I met you, I've genuinely felt so much more handsome. There's a light in my eyes and on my face now."

Yu Dadong sniffed and wiped his tears: "Brother, don't be sad. I'm an orphan, even worse off than you. I wandered to the gates of the textile mill, where the director took me in, and I grew up eating meals provided by a hundred families in the mill. I muddled through a few years of school at the textile mill's elementary school. Fortunately, the director gave me a job in the security department so I could have a bite to eat today."

Zhang Ziqiang was taken aback, then wept even harder: "Why are you so miserable..."

Yu Dadong hugged him, patted his back firmly, and wailed: "We are so miserable."

Zhang Ziqiang sobbed and hiccuped as he was being patted.

Cheng Shi, whose nose had been aching with sympathy, was now torn between laughter and tears: "Hey, hey, hey, that's about enough. Mom and dad will be back from their walk soon. Don't scare them to death."

Only then did Zhang Ziqiang and Yu Dadong stop, wiping away their tears.

Cheng Shi said: "I don't want to urge you to be the bigger person, nor do I want to say he is your father after all and you should show him more forbearance. Because I don't know what kind of neglect and pain you've endured all these years."

In truth, parents of this generation are mostly like this; they think that beating and scolding can keep their children on the straight and narrow, believing that love doesn't need to be expressed and that their children will understand one day.

His own fortune was having a gentle mother who always protected him.

Yet even he had to go through such a long period of pain and struggle before making peace with himself, and with his father.

In this world, parenting is the only profession that requires no license or training, and demands no one else's opinion before taking up the post.

That is why there are so many unqualified parents.

Zhang Ziqiang looked somewhat dazed: "Don't you think it was my fault?"

Cheng Shi: "What fault could possibly be yours? Is it your fault for being born into this family? Or for not being born at all? But that was never something you could decide. Nor do I believe that because your father gave you life and raised you, he has the right to use you as an outlet for his own misery. In this world, no one has the right to treat another person like that. Spouses, parents, children, friends—they are all the same."

Zhang Ziqiang's tears fell again. Compared to his earlier anger, what he felt now was a deep sense of grievance.

To be understood for the very first time only made the grievance feel all the more poignant.

Cheng Shi patted his shoulder: "Which hero or great man achieves success without enduring hardship? Wang Yangming said, unless the mortal heart dies, the true path cannot be born; unless desires are extinguished, the Dao cannot exist. Without a suffering heart, wisdom cannot awaken; without a burdened body, blessings and fortune cannot grow deep. Destruction precedes creation, emerging anew from the bath of fire, the phoenix rising from the ashes, living by facing death. If one is driven to a desperate end, one's momentum will break through like bamboo."

Zhang Ziqiang and Yu Dadong stared with their mouths open, looking completely dumbfounded.

Cheng Shi asked: "Did you understand that?"

Zhang Ziqiang and Yu Dadong shook their heads in unison: "We didn't understand a word."

Cheng Shi sighed: "In short, it means these hardships are what make you the one and only you, so just go ahead and do it."

Zhang Ziqiang: "Last time I asked you to take me as your apprentice, did I pass the test this time?"

Cheng Shi: "You passed. But I've realized that you're not suited for technical work."

Zhang Ziqiang's face fell in utter disappointment: "Even you look down on me."

"It's not looking down on you. Technical work isn't necessarily good for you. Look at this." Cheng Shi shook his head and pointed to the stack of books he had just borrowed from the Xinhua Bookstore and the city library. "You'd have to read through all those books before you could learn machine tool repair from me. Can you finish reading them?"

Zhang Ziqiang's brows instantly knitted together.

Cheng Shi continued: "Even if you finish reading them, you'd have to sit facing instruments and equipment at a desk all day long. Are you certain you can sit still for that?"

Zhang Ziqiang hesitated for a moment and shook his head.

Cheng Shi said: "However, this time I noticed something about you that is better than a lot of people. You have more resilience, you aren't afraid of losing face, and you have enough patience. I think you're very well suited for sales and procurement. If you don't want to waste your youth at the auto factory, you can come work with me. I'll give you a base salary equal to what you make at the auto factory, plus sales commissions."

Zhang Ziqiang's eyes widened. After a long moment, he asked: "Can I really do it?"

Cheng Shi: "Yes. If I say you can, you can. But you'll need to talk things over properly with your family. Director Zhang might not necessarily agree."

Zhang Ziqiang lowered his gaze and sat in silence for a moment before saying: "After returning from Haicheng this time, I finally feel like I've truly become an adult man who doesn't depend on anyone and fears no one. I can take responsibility for myself. I'll work with you. I'm going back tomorrow to hand in my resignation."

Cheng Shi: "Think it over carefully. Don't make major decisions in a hurry. If you don't want to go back, just bring a reclining chair and sleep downstairs for the night. Don't wander around aimlessly; it's not safe."

------

Zhang Ziqiang tossed and turned all night downstairs. Seeing that the sky outside was growing light, he quietly got up, washed up, left a note, and departed.

He went straight to the factory to process his resignation.

A colleague in the personnel department muttered under his breath: "What kind of foolishness are you pulling today, kid?"

"As long as Director Zhang is in office, you have an easy meal ticket for life."

"When Director Zhang steps down, he'll still give you a semi-retirement package. Either way, someone will support you for the rest of your days."

"Such a wonderful thing, and people would beg for it in vain."

"And yet you want to resign?!"

"If I let you act so recklessly, Director Zhang will tear me to pieces later."

The colleague asked: "Does the director know? If the director doesn't nod, I don't dare process this for you."

Zhang Ziqiang: "Fine, I'll go get him to sign it."

Zhang Guohua was already at work. Seeing Zhang Ziqiang walk in, his face darkened instantly: "You still have the nerve to come back."

Zhang Ziqiang: "I'm here to file my resignation."

Zhang Guohua froze, then flew into a rage: "Are you trying to anger me to death just because of yesterday's little incident? Don't force me to beat you."

Zhang Ziqiang: "No, it's not just because of yesterday. It's because of everything since the day I was born. Since you both feel that my existence is a mistake, then I will leave."