Chapter 33: As I Fall Asleep

The dense forest was as damp as ever.

Roland got out of bed, his feet bare. Cream-colored mist permeated the room, so humid it made it impossible to sleep soundly. Outside, it was not a silent forest of the dead; sounds of beasts roaring or hooves galloping frequently erupted from within. Birds often came to make mischief, carrying multi-legged insects to drop on his pillow—

How long... had it been since I last went into the forest to look around?

Roland curled his toes against the floor and pressed his hands against the window sill, itching to go. He slipped out of the room quietly.

He landed outside. The tender grass tickled the soles of his feet. The air was filled with the scent of caramel mixed with chocolate, an aroma that tempted him to keep moving forward. Before him lay a hazy fog, within which white trees coated in silver frost loomed vaguely. There was no moon or sun overhead; the rolling soft mist blocked the intrusion of light: here, everything shone except for the light itself.

The trees, the branches, the grass, and the leaves.

He felt as if he were standing in a mold of molten silver. The winding, shimmering path of grass, like a flowing river of white, nudged him forward.

The tree said:
"Walk forward, Roland."
The grass said:
"Sway like us, Roland."

The mist moved with the wind, its whistling sound a passionate, unrestrained kiss.
"Come into my embrace, Roland."

The dense forest was sown with stars, glittering beneath his feet. The slow, sluggish light flickered, penetrating Roland’s soles, turning them into crystal, revealing the veins and the tendons that stretched with every step.

The rustling sound was the dance of deer.
"Where are you going, Roland?"
"You are burning like a torch!"

His amber eyes were the only different color in this vast, white expanse.

"Ooh—ha!"
"Look at me! I’ve found the torch!"

Indeed, someone was speaking beside him. To his side, overhead, swinging on that silver-frosted branch. Small stature, small face, small hands and feet.

'She' was small in every aspect, yet her proportions were perfectly balanced. Dressed in a robe of leaves stitched together with spider silk, she looked quite like a tiny pearl left behind in the dense forest. She had long, fluffy, soft green hair, tied in a sloppy knot at her waist with some kind of plant root. Her eyes darted about, her body twisted and turned, and on her back grew four thin, transparent wings.

"I’ve found the torch!"

She scanned her surroundings, cupping her hands around her mouth to shout.

Roland felt a bit dazed, as if an invisible, sharp thorn were pressing against his brain, warning him. He subconsciously pinched the silver ring on his pinky finger and turned it—

No.
Something is wrong...

I... I am in a dream.

He reached for his waist; the dagger Enid had given him was gone. He looked down again: he was wearing a white silk nightgown, barefoot.

"You are burning bright! Roland-lan!"

The small creature overhead swung from the branch to a leaf, swaying back and forth, before suddenly letting go. With a flutter of her wings, she glided onto his head, crawling into his black hair.

"My name is Roland, little lady."
"Is that so, Roland-lan?"

Her voice, like her body, was child-like, delicate and crisp. "I’ve been waiting for you so long I almost fell asleep—let me count..."

She sat cross-legged on top of Roland’s head, counting with her fingers and toes.
"Slept... slept for seven, eight, nine, ten sleeps."

"Could you come onto my hand? This is very inconvenient." Roland simply sat down by a tree and held out his hand.

Soon, the tiny person jumped down from his head. It was a girl. A novel and wonderful dream, a strange little creature. Everything was intriguing.

"Lan-lo-lo! You are burning like a torch!"

The white waves of sound outlined her shape in Roland’s mind, and most prominently, those large eyes.

"What should I call you... a messenger of Eden?"
"Eden?"
"Messenger?"

The little thing tilted her head. Inexplicably, Roland seemed to see his own shadow in her.

"Or, an angel?" Roland extended his hand further so he could lean in and bow: "I am Roland Collins, Your Excellency. This is my first time entering the World of Sleep. It is my honor to come to Eden, the Father of All Things..."

A bird with a green-blue tail feather landed on the branch above him, carrying a stone in its beak, and dropped it straight at Roland’s feet. By the time the boy looked up, it had already flapped its wings and vanished.

The girl in his palm clutched her stomach, laughing until she tumbled over in his hand.

"Hahahaha... Lan-lo-lan is so weird! A silly torch! A torch-silly!" She rolled back and forth, her hair spilling out, blooming like a tender green plant in Roland’s hand.

"Ro-ro silly, Lan-lan egg?"

The girl, only slightly thicker than a thumb, kicked her legs, propped herself up on her arms, and looked at Roland with a smile.

This is not... Eden, the Father of All Things.

Roland would be a real fool if he couldn't tell by now. He quickly recalled what Fernandes had said in the carriage—the descriptions of Eden. But to his horror, he couldn't remember a single word.

Damn it...
It seems I've come to the wrong place.

'Stay where you are, urge yourself to wake up as soon as possible.'
Roland silently recited Enid’s warning.

Wake up... wake up...
Hurry up and wake up.

However, the tiny thing in his palm was not about to let him leave just like that.

"Father of All Things, Father of All Things, wow, do you think He is your father?"

The girl in his palm turned him over and scrutinized him, hitting the nail on the head: "Coming here was your own choice! Don't shirk responsibility! Deer that shirk responsibility don't grow antlers! Bears that shirk responsibility don't grow teeth!"

"Aurora has waited so—so long, as long as a white tree!"

She exaggeratedly spread her short little arms, her expression as dramatic as if she had swallowed a sugar ball.

"But why are you all alone?"

She looked left and right, shading her eyes with her hand to scan the area: "There was another torch, but it seems to have gone out..."

"Aurora is so sad!"

She acted as if she had been struck and collapsed into Roland’s hand, but after only a few seconds, she bounced back up, full of energy: "Hee... it's okay! There's still one burning bright!"

A torch...
One went out?

This sentence stopped Roland’s silent recitation. He frowned: "I don't understand, Aurora. The torch, do you mean me?"

The flames in his eyes were unusually silent.
That ghost of a thing...
It's only useful for idle chatter.
A bit disheartening.

"Of course!"
"Come on, come on!"
"Let me tell you the secret of the mist..."

Roland coughed, interrupting her: "Miss Aurora, I don't think this is where I’m supposed to be."

He still remembered Enid’s instructions, so...
As long as I don't wander off, I won't be in danger, right?
It’s a bit of an adventure.
Roland began to feel excited.

"Oh?"
Aurora grinned, revealing a mouthful of sharp teeth. "I know where you want to go. Eden? Roland-lan, that won't work!"

"Not enough fuel!" She counted on her fingers: "Mercy? There’s too little darkness in your heart; Wisdom? Roland-lo is so cute, it would be a pity if he went mad, no, no; Judgment, well..."

She stared at Roland for a while, then suddenly went quiet, asking a cryptic question.

"Would you really choose judgment?"

She spoke in strange, rhythmic tones, like a song:

"How will you erase the stories in your memory, how will you kill the fantasies in your stories, how will you splash filth onto wonderful marvels, turning the beautiful into the ugly, the kind and elegant into the hideous—"

"Lan-lo-lo, can you..."
"Eat me?"
"Just put me in your mouth and chew me to pieces!"

She stood up, spun around in Roland’s palm, and smiled innocently.

"Kill a fairy, then."
"Can you do it?"