136 My Heart Aches for You

As he gripped my shoulder, his face drew even closer. The sound of splashing water echoed in my ears, and I blinked in a flurry of panic.

"Xiao Xiaozi, I am not feeling very happy."

This was the first time Jiang Xuan had opened his heart to me. Though it was a simple sentence, it was enough to move me deeply, for I knew how difficult such an admission was for him.

Like Han Feiyue, no one had ever asked them what they truly desired. They simply lived their lives carrying the weight of others' expectations.

I reached out, placed my hand on his back, and patted it gently as I held him. "I know. Everything will be alright."

Jiang Xuan’s body went rigid for a moment before he leaned in closer, resting his chin on my shoulder. His hand shifted from my shoulder to my back. "Thank you for being here with me."

"Your Highness, rest assured, this servant will always be by your side. Others may not know, but this servant knows that Your Highness has been misunderstood. You are a truly kind person."

Jiang Xuan let out a soft chuckle and stroked my back twice. A jolt like an electric current shot through my entire body.

"That sentence was more effective than the one about your front teeth earlier."

Black lines formed on my forehead. I tried to pull away, but Jiang Xuan held me tighter. "Don't move, my arm is injured."

"Your Highness, surely you cannot use that excuse over and over again?"

"Do you have an objection?"

"This servant would not dare."

"But you were the one who hugged me first; I did not force you."

So, comforting you has now become my fault?

Held like this, I didn't dare move again. Jiang Xuan was in a bad mood, so I figured I would just let him hold me for a while. But after a long time, he still hadn't pulled away, and my upper body was starting to ache from the posture.

I whispered softly, "Your Highness? Your Highness?"

Still no movement? Could he have fallen asleep?

I reached out to gently move his hand, acting with extreme caution for fear of hurting him. Once his arm was shifted, I realized Jiang Xuan had indeed fallen asleep.

He must have been exhausted from the night's events and his injury.

But what was I to do? Not only was he completely naked, but if the water cooled down and he slept in it all night, his body would surely suffer! With my own strength, I had no way of dragging him out and onto the bed.

The only way was to wake him so he could go to bed himself. Yet, looking at his weary face, I found I couldn't bear to do it.

Jiang Xuan’s features were exquisitely refined. Because he usually wore a cold expression, he carried an air of natural authority. Having met the other princes, I felt that Jiang Xuan was the one who possessed the most aristocratic bearing; that innate kingly dominance was impossible to hide.

This was the first time I could watch him so quietly, at such close range.

He was only two years older than me, yet he carried and concealed so much. Looking at him, beyond finding him incredibly handsome, I felt a growing sense of heartache.

"Xiao Xiaozi..."

Just as I was lost in these thoughts, Jiang Xuan suddenly opened his eyes, giving me quite a scare. I braced myself against the edge of the wooden tub, but it was too slippery; my hand slid, and I plunged headfirst into the water.

This was the second time. This can't be good for me, right?

I struggled, swallowed a few mouthfuls of water, and was then yanked up by my collar by Jiang Xuan.

"Xiao Xiaozi, what are—"

Before Jiang Xuan could finish, I suddenly spat a mouthful of water directly onto his face.

I admit, I truly didn't mean to.

"Your Highness, I am sorry. This servant did not do it on purpose."

Jiang Xuan glared at me. "Xiao Xiaozi, you absolutely did it on purpose."

"This servant did not mean to. I will leave at once so I do not hinder Your Highness's bath." I turned to climb out, but my waist was suddenly grabbed from behind.

I shuddered and fell back into the tub, splashing water all over my face.

"Why were you staring at me like that just now?" Jiang Xuan’s gentle voice came from behind me. "Is it possible that you, just like me, are also..."

He didn't finish the sentence, and I couldn't guess what he was going to say.

I said, "Your Highness, so you were pretending to be asleep all along. You have deceived this servant quite cruelly."

"I was asleep at first, but you were so clumsy while moving my hand that I woke up."

"This servant was wrong. But since you were awake, why did you keep pretending?"

"I wanted to see what you would do."

My face flushed. He had known I was watching him so intently. Thankfully, he couldn't see my expression now.

Jiang Xuan pulled me closer, and as I stiffened, his chest pressed against my back. He leaned toward my ear, his breath hot, and whispered, "Xiao Xiaozi, do you know? I am actually hungry."

"Then this servant will go to the kitchen..."

Before I could finish, Jiang Xuan said, "This hunger of mine can only be satisfied by..."

He dragged out the word "satisfied" but did not finish his thought.

"What does Your Highness wish to say?"

"Xiao Xiaozi, I do not want to let you go. Having you by my side makes me feel at peace."

My body froze. I couldn't speak, and I felt as if my whole body were burning.

"Your Highness, the water has gone cold. Let this servant help you up. Any longer and you might catch a chill."

His hand remained locked around my waist. If this continued, I would be soaked through, and it would be inevitable that he might discover I was a girl.

Thinking quickly, I deliberately let out a sneeze.

Jiang Xuan immediately released my waist. As I climbed out of the tub, I heard him ask, "Did you catch a cold?"

I replied, "It is nothing. Let me help Your Highness up."

"No need," Jiang Xuan said. "You should dry yourself off with that clean towel first." Fearing I would refuse, he added, "That is an order."

"As you command!"

I grabbed a dry towel and wiped myself down. When I turned back, I saw that Jiang Xuan had already dried himself and put on a clean undergarment.

He walked to the cabinet, took out a set of clothes, and handed them to me. "Change into these."

I looked at the deep blue garment—clearly made of fine silk—and didn't dare touch it. For a eunuch to walk around the palace wearing such clothes would be inviting death.

I quickly said, "This servant is fine. I cannot wear these clothes. I shall return to Huayang Palace now; please, Your Highness, get some rest."

Before he could respond, I turned to pull the door open, but I let out another genuine sneeze—the ruse had become reality.

"Stay." Jiang Xuan commanded.

My hand still on the door, I pulled it back and asked, "Your Highness, what else do you require?"

"Why don't you stay tonight?"

My mind went blank, and I waved my hands frantically. "This servant would not dare, I would not dare."

"I only want some company. Do not worry; you may return first thing in the morning."

"But... you are the Ninth Prince, I cannot..."

"My arm..." Jiang Xuan suddenly frowned, using his other hand to support his wounded limb.

"Does the wound hurt?" I hurried over to ask.

Jiang Xuan nodded. "I don't know if it will keep hurting all night. If I can't bear it, won't I need you to summon the imperial physician?"

"But isn't there someone outside your door..."

"Do you remember that the Emperor ordered that no one should know I was injured?"

I remembered that was only regarding Zhang Bitong, but never mind; if anyone else found out, she would naturally know as well.

"Your Highness, I am not the servant assigned to look after you. Staying in the palace overnight is truly improper. The physician said your wound is not serious, perhaps..."

Before I could finish, Jiang Xuan frowned again. I looked over and saw that the white gauze was stained with a bit of fresh red.

"Do you think I am lying to you?" His voice sounded different, his breathing seemingly unsteady.

I believed him. "If the pain is truly unbearable, I will go fetch the physician."

"Xiao Xiaozi, are you deliberately trying to anger me?"

Where did that come from?

I said, "This servant would not dare."

"If I tell you to stay, you stay. Do you always have to be so long-winded?"

I nodded. "As you command! I will see to it that you rest. I will wait nearby, and if you feel unwell, just call for me."

"Change out of those clothes. By the time you leave tomorrow, they will be dry. You can change back then."

"This servant would not dare."

"This is my order. Do you dare defy it?"

"This servant would not dare!"

Jiang Xuan, is this really appropriate?

If I change clothes in front of you, I won't be able to stay calm!

"I will go rest in the inner chamber. Change your clothes and wait nearby. Do not make me say it a second time." He must have realized I was uncomfortable changing in front of him.

Seeing him enter the inner room, I checked once more before hiding behind the screen. If I didn't change, these soaked clothes would be even more likely to reveal my gender.

I changed, trembling with nerves. The robe was far too long and dragged on the floor. I rolled up the sleeves before stepping out from behind the screen.

"Come in."

"As you command!"

Dragging the long robes, I entered and found Jiang Xuan already lying on the bed. When he saw me, he gave a faint smile.

"I should change back; I truly do not dare wear your clothes, Your Highness."

"No need, it fits just right."

How could you possibly think that fits right?

"If you are tired, rest on the daybed. I am weary."

"As you command!"

Seeing him lie down, I turned to leave, but heard him say from behind, "Thank you, Xiao Xiaozi. I feel much better now."

I said nothing, but a smile tugged at my lips. It was as if hearing him say that made me even happier than he was.

I didn't dare sleep on the daybed, so I just leaned against the door and drifted off.

In the middle of the night, I woke with a start. Looking down, I realized a thin blanket was draped over me.

Jiang Xuan must have covered me.

Why would he be awake? Was his wound hurting? I climbed up in a panic and walked softly into the inner room to check on him.