141 Passion and Affection

Upon receiving this definitive news, I felt so utterly devastated that I turned back toward Huayang Palace, oblivious to the people calling my name along the way.

"Xiao Xiaozi!"

I don’t know how many times they had called before I finally snapped out of my daze. I looked up abruptly to find Long Zhan standing right in front of me, his brows slightly furrowed and his eyes filled with a hint of concern.

"Greetings, Lord Long!" I hurriedly bowed.

"Zhenwu, you all go ahead; I will follow shortly," Long Zhan said to the men beside him.

"Yes!"

As Liang Zhenwu and the guards departed, Long Zhan looked at me and asked, "What is wrong with you? You look ghastly."

I replied blankly, "Do I? Perhaps I just didn't rest well. Lord Long, I must return to Huayang Palace to attend to the Crown Princess, so I cannot stay here."

I made to leave, but to my surprise, Long Zhan blocked my path. I don't know why, but he suddenly reached out and touched my face. Then, knitting his brows, he grabbed my shoulder and asked, "Why is your face so hot? Have you been drinking?"

Knowing I could not deceive Long Zhan, I had no choice but to say, "Yes, I had a little, but I am fine now. I truly must return to Huayang Palace."

However, Long Zhan did not let me go. He stared at me and said, "If you don't tell me what happened, I won't let you leave."

Long Zhan was not a man easily brushed off, but how could I possibly tell him these things? I looked at him and raised my voice, "Is it necessary for me to report every detail of my affairs to you, Lord Long? If I am late returning and fail to serve properly, who will bear the blame for that?"

Long Zhan was taken aback by my words. Seizing the moment, I brushed his hand away and walked straight off.

Upon returning to Huayang Palace, I saw that Han Feiyue had already risen and was sitting by the table, mending clothes.

"I am late, my lady. Please forgive me."

"It is of no consequence. But where are my osmanthus cakes?"

At the time, the cakes had been mostly consumed by Jialin, and the food container had been left behind at Lingbo Hall. How could I produce them now? I could only say, "This servant deserves to die; I did not manage to get the osmanthus cakes."

Han Feiyue stopped her work, looked at me, and said, "Forget it. Go and decoct my medicine."

"As you command!"

As I went about my tasks, I found myself distracted, my mind constantly returning to the incident involving Jiang Xuan.

When the medicine was ready, I didn't use a cloth to hold the bowl, and the heat raised blisters on my palms. The pain was so sharp that tears welled up in my eyes. I wiped them away with the back of my hand, but felt such a profound sense of grievance that no matter how much I wiped, the tears would not stop.

I simply squatted down and buried my face in my knees to weep. Fearing that someone might see, I forced myself to stop. I then stood up and poured the medicine. Worried that Han Feiyue might notice something, I wiped my eyes again before carrying the bowl to her room.

"My lady, please take your medicine."

"Hmm." Han Feiyue set aside the fabric, took the bowl, and blew on it.

Before she could take a sip, she suddenly said, "After you left, Aunt Minghe from the Empress's side came looking for you."

"Aunt Minghe?"

Han Feiyue nodded. "She only came to find you. I am not sure of the specifics, only that the Empress had something to ask you. Did you run into Aunt Minghe while you were out?"

I shook my head. "I did not."

"I see." Han Feiyue said no more and began to drink her medicine.

With this revelation from Han Feiyue, the parts I hadn't understood before suddenly clicked into place. It wasn't just Jiang Yun who had orchestrated this; it was a conspiracy between him and the Empress.

Jiang Yun had first stabilized Jiang Xuan, deliberately spiking his wine with an aphrodisiac. Jiang Xuan valued his brotherly bond with Jiang Yun, so he had little suspicion. Meanwhile, the Empress had sent Minghe to find me, likely using some pretext to detain me. Once the drug took effect on Jiang Xuan, they would have brought us both into the same room. Jiang Xuan would have lost control, and if he had engaged with me, we would have been caught red-handed by the Emperor and the Empress. They would have assumed I was merely a eunuch; for a prince to engage in such a scandalous act with a eunuch would surely have incited the Emperor’s fury.

However, many things in this world can be calculated, but human beings are difficult to predict. The Empress had not accounted for the fact that I, who usually never left Han Feiyue's side at Huayang Palace, had happened to go to Cuiwei Palace that day. Yet, they must have been pleased when Xiao Dezi later ran into me. Still, they could never have anticipated that besides me at Lingbo Hall, there was also Jialin. It was such a coincidence—when they arrived, I was gone, and Jialin just happened to appear.

Although this helped both Jiang Xuan and me escape disaster, the fact remained that he still had to marry Jialin, which was something I was unwilling to see.

"Xiao Xiaozi, you seem to have something on your mind. You haven't been yourself since you returned." Han Feiyue had finished her medicine and was wiping her mouth with a handkerchief.

"This servant..."

"Could it be that you have taken a fancy to some palace maid? You look so listless, like a young man who has been scolded by the girl he admires, or perhaps the girl you like has her eyes on someone else."

Han Feiyue was only half-joking, but I took it to heart. "My lady, you jest. I am but a eunuch; I dare not entertain such thoughts."

Han Feiyue said, "Even if you are a eunuch, you are still a man. At this age, it is only natural for feelings to bloom. Love between a man and a woman is the most natural thing in the world. If you encounter it, you cannot escape it."

Feelings blooming?

I suddenly remembered the character Jiang Xuan had grasped my hand to write on the rice paper that day.

Love between a man and a woman—something you cannot escape.

Although I had seen much of such love due to my age, I had never imagined that I would experience it myself, that I would secretly give my heart away. Yet, Han Feiyue’s words had awakened me.

This restlessness, this heartache—so intense and clear—could it be because I knew Jiang Xuan was to be married?

No, no. How could I have fallen for Jiang Xuan? He was the high-and-mighty Ninth Prince, while I was just a lowly servant hiding my true identity as a woman. We were worlds apart.

Even if I had such feelings, they must be buried in my heart. The fewer people who know about my affairs, the safer it is—for me and for others.

I gathered the bowls and said, "My lady, you jest. This servant simply did not rest well. I will take these away now."

Han Feiyue said nothing more and dismissed me.

That night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. My head was buzzing with many voices, each one I tried to dismiss only to have it reappear, leaving me feeling truly agitated and uneasy.

After waking in the morning and serving Han Feiyue her breakfast, I decided to visit Cuiwei Palace once more. The fact that Jialin had eaten the osmanthus cakes yesterday left me feeling guilty.

After bidding farewell to Han Feiyue, I first went to Lingbo Hall to retrieve the food container, then headed to Cuiwei Palace.

As I entered, I saw Xiao Yunzi and Lan Yan kneeling at the door, and in the inner room, I saw Jiang Xuan also kneeling.

Upon seeing Jiang Xuan again, I could not tear my gaze away.

Yun Qing stood before Zhang Bitong and noticed me. I stepped forward and knelt, saying, "Greetings, Your Ladyship."

Zhang Bitong glanced at me, and hearing my voice, Jiang Xuan turned to look at me. I deliberately averted my gaze, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Rise, there is no need to kneel," Zhang Bitong said in a softened tone.

"Thank you, Mother," Jiang Xuan said as he stood.

Yun Qing said, "Your Ladyship, the matter is done; please do not be angry. It is a good thing that he has taken a secondary consort."

Zhang Bitong said, "I told him to take a consort, not to engage in illicit affairs with a palace maid. Have you not seen this Jialin? She is neither beautiful nor clever, and she is often bullied by Huyan Ya. Yet, for some reason, Xuan'er took a fancy to her. I have selected so many noble ladies for him, but he wants none of them. Now, I have become the laughingstock of this Inner Palace. Xuan'er, can you not win some honor for me?"

Jiang Xuan stood to one side, silent.

"It is fortunate that your Imperial Father did not blame you; you should be profoundly grateful. However, this matter is quite suspicious. How could the Empress and the Crown Prince have appeared there so perfectly? Xuan'er, tell me, did the Empress and the Crown Prince deliberately plot to frame you?"

Zhang Bitong was not a party to the event, and the Emperor must have commanded that the details be kept quiet, as it was not a respectable affair to spread around. Nevertheless, Zhang Bitong was suspicious.

"It was my own foolishness," Jiang Xuan said, bowing his head. What point was there in saying more? Was Zhang Bitong any match for the Empress and her faction?

"I am truly going to be driven to my death by you," Zhang Bitong sighed, clutching her forehead.

"Your Ladyship, please take care of your health," Yun Qing said hurriedly.

"You may all withdraw; I wish to rest for a while." As Yun Qing helped Zhang Bitong rise, she saw me and asked, "Why are you here today? Is it about the Crown Princess?"

I quickly replied, "Yes, Your Ladyship. The Crown Princess wished to have some of Aunt Yun Qing's osmanthus cakes."

Zhang Bitong nodded. "Yun Qing, go and help make some. I wish to rest now; there is no one here who doesn't cause me worry."

"I will attend to you until you are settled, then I shall go."

Yun Qing helped Zhang Bitong into the inner room. Jiang Xuan turned to leave, and seeing him approach, I immediately stepped aside to clear the path.

I kept my head bowed, seeing his cloud-patterned boots stop before me. My heart began to pound violently, but I dared not look up. A moment later, those boots moved forward. Only then did I dare to lift my head and watch his retreating back.

"Xiao Yunzi, hurry and sweep the courtyard so the Lady doesn't get angry again," Lan Yan instructed.

"Yes."

As Xiao Yunzi began to sweep, Lan Yan pulled me aside and asked, "Do you know anything about what happened with the Ninth Prince?"

I looked at her blankly. "What is it you wish to ask, Sister Lan Yan?"

"A man as reserved as the Ninth Prince—how could he suddenly take up with a maid who barely appears in public? In my opinion, there is something very strange about this. I heard a rumor in the palace..."

"What rumor?"

Lan Yan leaned in closer and lowered her voice. "They say the Ninth Prince was actually drugged, and he had no choice but to..."

"Ahem!" Yun Qing coughed from behind us, and Lan Yan quickly stopped and forced a smile.

Yun Qing said to me, "You came early today; I haven't started yet. Did the Lady finish the ones you brought yesterday?"

I felt a bit guilty, but I replied, "Yes, the Lady has a good appetite, and what you made was truly delicious."

"As long as she likes them, eating more is good for her health. You will have to work hard today and help me; I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Yes."

"Aunt, let me come too," Lan Yan said. "With more people, it will go faster."

Yun Qing shot her a look. "You are truly foolish. If you leave, who will take care of the Lady?"

"That is true. My apologies."

I followed Yun Qing to the small kitchen, and after working for nearly an hour, we finally placed the steaming osmanthus cakes onto a plate.

"Thank you for your hard work, Aunt."

"Hurry back. The Lady will be even happier to eat them while they are hot. That girl, she is still as greedy as she was when she was a child."

Seeing the tenderness on Yun Qing's face as she spoke, it was clear she truly had a deep affection for Han Feiyue.

"I will return to Huayang Palace now."

"Very well."

I carried the food container out of Cuiwei Palace. I intended to pass by Jiang Xuan's palace, but after a moment's thought, I decided against it and chose to take a longer route back to Huayang Palace.

Unexpectedly, just as I was about to turn, I was called from behind: "Xiao Xiaozi!"