148 Feeling Secure Only When Guarding You

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I wasn’t sure who was calling for me at this moment. I turned to the eunuch and said, “I understand, sir. Thank you for your trouble.” The eunuch nodded and left.

I wiped my hands on my clothes and prepared to enter and see Han Feiyue. However, I found that she had already risen and was stepping out of the room, her hair flowing freely.

“Miss, you’re awake?” I asked.

“I just heard the eunuch say someone was looking for you. You should go,” she replied.

“Miss, I should prepare your supper first,” I insisted.

Han Feiyue glanced at the dishes on the table. “Those I haven’t tried before. I’ll give it a shot. You should go quickly; don’t be late.”

“Thank you, miss. I shall return promptly!” I hurried outside. At the palace gate, I saw a petite woman in a deep blue dress, her back to me. For a moment, I was uncertain who she was, but then she turned around.

It was Jialin. Though only two days had passed since I last saw her, I barely recognized her. Indeed, clothes make the person. She had changed her attire and applied exquisite makeup, becoming far more radiant and alluring. I nearly failed to recognize her.

I was about to call her name, but then remembered her elevated status now, which forbade me from addressing her so familiarly.

I bowed and said, “Your servant pays respects to Madam.”

“Get up quickly, Xiao, it’s unsettling to see you like this,” Jialin hurried over to help me.

I rose on my own and stepped back to keep some distance, saying, “Madam should get used to it. After all, your status is no longer ordinary. It is only proper for your servant to pay respects this way. If I did not, it would be my fault.”

Seeing my resolve, Jialin relented, “Very well, if you wish to pay respects, I won’t stop you.”

“Madam, have you come for something?” I asked.

“Nothing in particular, just wanted to check on you. I didn’t see you on my wedding day, and it’s been two days since. I thought I should come and see you. I owe my current position partly to you,” Jialin said sincerely. I could feel her heartfelt gratitude.

Having just lost Ping’er, I treasured Jialin even more; like Ping’er, she was one of the more unfortunate girls in the palace.

“Madam is too kind. Your status is the result of your own merits, not my doing. What matters is that you are well now.” I dared not inquire if she was truly well. If not, I would pity her; if yes, it would mean Jiang Xuan treated her well. I was not a saint and could not help but feel envy and sorrow. Better not to ask.

Perhaps with time, I would cease to concern myself with matters unrelated to me.

Jialin nodded. “Though Imperial Consort Mu does not yet favor me, I will learn to win her over. I know that as long as I serve the Ninth Prince well, she will accept me eventually.”

I replied, “Consort Tong has a sharp tongue but a tender heart. You’ll find it easier to get along with her after some time. I firmly believe Consort Tong will come to like you.”

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Jialin smiled. “Thank you for your kind words. Xiao, you must be my good fortune. Since meeting you, I feel luckier than ever. This life is beyond what I ever dared to hope for.”

“That is your blessing, Madam. If you are content with this life, that is enough. Contentment is the key to living peacefully in this palace.”

Jialin nodded. “I always remember what you told me. Rest assured, Xiao, I have no other thoughts. As long as I can be good to the Ninth Prince, I am satisfied.”

I responded with a hum, then said, “If you have no other matters, I should take my leave. I still need to prepare supper for the Crown Princess.”

“I came only because I hadn’t seen you for a while. Oh, I also brought some pastries for you. Feel free to eat some. If the Crown Princess likes them, she can have some too. Fang’er, come here!”

“Yes, Madam,” the palace maid Fang’er handed me a food box.

“Thank you for your generosity, Madam.”

“No need for such formal thanks. You do your duties well; I cannot fault you. Take it with you. I won’t keep you long. I shall visit again another day.”

“Thank you, Madam. Your servant takes leave.” I carried the box to the courtyard and saw the dishes Han Feiyue had chosen. To my surprise, only leaves remained; the rest had been tossed aside.

Though the Crown Princess had traveled widely, she clearly lacked skill in these matters.

“Miss, let me handle this,” I offered.

Han Feiyue asked, “What? Did I do it poorly?”

“No, no. This is my duty, not to trouble you. Now that my tasks are done, it’s proper for me to prepare your supper. By the way, Miss, here are some pastries. Would you like some?”

Han Feiyue accepted the box without hesitation, opened it, took a piece, and tasted it. “Xiao, you have quite the connections. These pastries clearly aren’t for me but for you. Such things aren’t easily obtained by ordinary palace maids or eunuchs. It seems a noble has favored you and came looking for you. Xiao, you have considerable influence! It seems I have been a bit unfair keeping you by my side.”

Not sure if she was joking, I replied, “Your Highness is kind. You said you keep me here because you trust me. That trust alone makes me serve wholeheartedly and without complaint.”

“You are admirable. But these pastries are too sweet, cloying. They are not as refreshing as those made by Lady Yunqing. I can only eat a few; the rest are yours.”

“Thank you, Miss. I shall prepare your supper now.”

“Mm.”

After serving Han Feiyue her supper, she did some needlework. The child’s garment was nearly finished but the stitches were messy, and some parts were still unsewn. Clearly, Han Feiyue lacked the delicate touch; her child would wear a tattered garment.

After Han Feiyue rested early, I returned to my room but could not shake thoughts of Ping’er. These past days had drained me—one blow after another, nearly overwhelming.

But life must go on. I had sworn by Ping’er’s side to find her true killer. That was all I could do for her now—I must not break my vow.

I held the pouch, filled with Ping’er’s love. Yet she could no longer smile at me.

Her bloodied face calling my name before she died haunted me. Tears slid down my cheeks.

Unable to sleep, I wrapped myself and stepped outside.

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The moonlight and starlight made the night as bright as day.

As I stepped out, I saw a long shadow beneath the moonlight.

“Captain Long?” I was startled. “Are you personally guarding here tonight?”

Long Zhan stood outside the courtyard. As soon as I asked, I realized my mistake. Long Zhan belonged to the Imperial Guards, whose duty was to rest or protect the emperor. Why would he personally guard Han Feiyue?

“Are you all right?” Long Zhan asked.

“I’m fine, just couldn’t sleep and came out for a walk. Why are you here, Captain?”

He looked at me with concern. The moonlight softened his features. “I was worried about you and came to check. I didn’t want to disturb you and the Crown Princess, so I just stood here.”

“How long have you been standing here?”

“Not long. If you could sleep, I’d feel more at ease. If you’re still thinking of Ping’er, I figured you would come out eventually. But that’s not what I wish to see.”

I lowered my head, knowing I needn’t hide much from Long Zhan. We stood on opposite sides of the courtyard, beneath the bright moon and countless stars.

“Thank you for coming so late. Actually, it’s just that I initially found it hard to accept. Perhaps with time, things will fade, and I will feel better.”

“You are a loyal and compassionate person; I can see that.”

I smiled faintly and asked, “Has Ping’er been properly buried?”

Long Zhan nodded. “Yes. Since I personally arranged it, Liang Zhenwu accompanied her. He told me if you want to see her, I can take you out of the palace.”

“Thank you, Captain Long, and thank you, Liang Zhenwu. I also thank you on behalf of Sister Ping’er.”

“The emperor has been informed about Ping’er’s death. Because she was a devoted attendant, the emperor feels sorrowful and has ordered compensation to be given to her family. He has also assigned people to investigate. With the emperor’s men involved, the matter might proceed more smoothly.”

I remained unconvinced—not that I distrusted the emperor, but Ping’er was still a palace maid. The emperor might feel uneasy for a while and send people to investigate, but in time, he would forget. Those assigned would lose interest, and the matter would quietly fade away. After all, what weight does a palace maid’s life truly carry?

I suddenly recalled something and asked Long Zhan, “From what you’ve told me, the people from the Southern Frontier must have hidden their identities and learned the customs of the Jin Kingdom, so there’s little difference between them and the Jin people. But surely they have some distinguishing traits—some habits deeply ingrained that cannot be easily changed? Or perhaps some symbolic features that prove their Southern Frontier origins?”

Long Zhan replied, “That’s a good line of thought. But I know little about the Southern Frontier. The poison of the Bitter Bamboo pollen is something I heard about in my youth, so I have some impression. The Southern Frontier is far from the Jin Kingdom and quite isolated, rarely interacting with outsiders, so knowledge is limited.”

Having gained little from Long Zhan, I was not discouraged. Since even he said it was a good idea, I would pursue this line of inquiry.

I suddenly remembered a place where I might find such information. Even if I cannot, perhaps someone else there might know something.