157 To Meet or Not to Meet

After having dinner in Jiang Xuan's chambers, I returned immediately to the Cuiwei Palace.

Daring not to head straight to my own room, I hurried over to pay my respects in Zhang Bitong's quarters.

"This slave pays respects to Your Ladyship," I knelt outside the door. By this time, Zhang Bitong had undoubtedly finished her dinner and would be sipping her lotus seed soup.

"Come in," Zhang Bitong raised her eyes, noticed the injuries on my hands, set her bowl down, and spoke.

"Thank you, Your Ladyship."

Once inside, I stood respectfully before Zhang Bitong.

Zhang Bitong asked, "How are your injuries?"

"This slave thanks Your Ladyship for your concern. These are merely minor wounds, hardly worth Your Ladyship's worry. However, for these past few days, this slave has been unable to faithfully perform her duties in serving Your Ladyship, and I beg Your Ladyship not to punish me."

"Your loyalty has always been known to me. In truth, I caught wind of this matter as well. I originally intended to go and intercede on your behalf, but alas, I was feeling somewhat indisposed. Coupled with the gravity of the situation, and knowing that His Highness the Crown Prince already suspected that Xuan'er and I were behind it, it truly was inappropriate for me to step forward. Surely you understand the reasons behind this, don't you?"

Although Zhang Bitong's expressions of concern were utterly hollow, what she said was indeed the truth. Had she gotten involved with her reckless temperament and blurted out something inappropriate, it would only have made matters far more complicated.

I glanced at Yunqing, assuming she must have played a considerable role in persuading Zhang Bitong against intervening.

"This affair has already come to a close. Gong Wu'e is bound to become the Crown Prince's consort sooner or later, and when that day comes, the Empress's arrogance will only grow unchecked. I truly regret having allowed myself to be seduced by the Empress's deceits back then into joining hands with her against Han Feiyue. Now, my remorse is boundless. It seems the Empress had long harbored the intention of getting rid of Han Feiyue. Now that she has achieved her wish, she has further augmented the Gong family's influence in the inner court. Ah, with the Crown Prince constantly targeting Xuan'er at every turn, Xuan'er and I find ourselves in a rather precarious plight!"

For Zhang Bitong to realize this now meant she was not entirely foolish. Yet, having offended Lu Ning first and subsequently fallen into the Empress's trap, she had alienated both sides. In my view, Zhang Bitong likely had no room left to ascend any higher.

"Your Ladyship need not fret. While one must remain steadfast in the face of the Empress Dowager and the Empress, the ultimate maneuvering still lies with His Majesty. As long as Your Ladyship holds fast to His Majesty's heart, you can rise smoothly to prominence, and the Ninth Prince will naturally win His Majesty's favor as well," Yunqing chimed in from the side.

"All these principles I understand. But how many blooming beauties are there in this inner court? No sooner had that Xiao Ruo fallen out of favor than Meng Pingjun rose to take her place. Meng Pingjun and Lin Tanwei have joined forces, monopolizing His Majesty's attention these past few days. It is simply infuriating."

"Your Ladyship need not worry. Remember that Noble Lady Yun is due to give birth very soon. By then, His Majesty's thoughts will surely be focused upon her."

"Shui Yunqiu? I had almost forgotten about her. Who knows whether she will bear a prince or a princess? A princess would be manageable, but if it is a prince, won't he monopolize His Majesty once again? The inner court has not welcomed a new child for many days, so His Majesty will undoubtedly be overjoyed."

"Your Ladyship, although Noble Lady Yun is approaching her confinement, she has already borne a child before. Even if she regains immense favor, she will not be able to attend to His Majesty in bed for some time. Your Ladyship has no need for concern!"

Yet Zhang Bitong countered, "I must guard against all eventualities. Every additional person means another rival. Should Shui Yunqiu give birth to a prince, my portion of favor will be diminished by another fraction. How wonderful it would be if Shui Yunqiu's child were never born—"

"Ah?" An exclamation suddenly rang out from outside the door. Yunqing hastily and vigilantly glanced out, only to catch sight of Ru'er, Meng Pingjun's maid, standing there.

"What manner of person are you, daring to eavesdrop on my conversations?" Zhang Bitong snapped coldly. Ru'er hurried inside and dropped to her knees.

"This maid pays respects to Your Ladyship," Ru'er said with a trembling voice.

Zhang Bitong continued her reprimand, "What were you doing creeping around out there? Did you deliberately come to eavesdrop on me?"

Ru'er hurriedly explained, "Your Ladyship, this maid has been wronged. This maid was sent by my mistress to invite Your Ladyship to come and listen to the zither. I originally wished to find someone to announce my arrival, but no one was in the courtyard. Having no alternative, I walked in, only to twist my ankle on the steps. This maid was truly not eavesdropping on Your Ladyship."

Ru'er's explanation was entirely plausible, leaving Zhang Bitong unable to find any fault. She immediately demanded, "Where on earth has that wench Lanyan gone? She grows more lawless by the day."

Yunqing answered, "Your Ladyship, Lanyan is in the small kitchen brewing your calming soup, acting strictly upon Your Ladyship's decree."

"And what about Xiao Yun?"

"He must have gone off to idle away his time. Once this maid finds him, I shall certainly punish him."

"Enough, enough. The retinue here in Cuiwei Palace is indeed somewhat sparse. Ru'er, why did your mistress suddenly take it upon herself to invite me to listen to the zither?"

Ru'er replied, "Your Ladyship, seeing that the moonlight tonight is so fine, and hearing that His Majesty has also said he would come over to listen to the zither, my mistress remembers how kindly Your Ladyship has treated her, and thus specially commanded this maid to invite Your Ladyship to join them."

Upon hearing this, Zhang Bitong beamed with delight. "Are you saying His Majesty will be there as well? Has His Majesty already arrived?"

Ru'er answered truthfully, "Attendant Qiu came to report that His Majesty is currently perusing some memorials, but within the span of a single incense stick, he should be arriving."

"A single incense stick—that leaves very little time. Yunqing, hurry and pick out a dress for me to change into."

"Understood!"

Ru'er rose and said, "Then this maid will return first to report to my mistress, so she may make preparations."

"Yes, go quickly."

"This maid takes her leave!"

While Yunqing went to fetch a gown for Zhang Bitong, Zhang Bitong seated herself before the dressing table and lightly touched up her makeup before the bronze mirror.

As Yunqing served her in changing her garments, Zhang Bitong remarked, "It seems that when I inadvertently lent her a hand the other day, she remembered it and has now come to repay the favor."

"Noble Lady Jun is certainly one to remember kindness. Hasn't Your Ladyship gone without seeing His Majesty for quite some days now?"

Zhang Bitong smoothed her wispy temples and said, "Though I am basking in the reflected light of that Meng Pingjun, only by seeing His Majesty can I ensure he remembers me. Only thus can I win his favor, don't you agree?"

Yunqing nodded hurriedly, saying, "For Your Ladyship to think this way is exceptionally wise."

"Very well, let us set off at once."

"Your Ladyship, this maid is feeling somewhat indisposed today, I am afraid—"

"Ah, that's right, your time of the month has come round again. Never mind. Little Xiao cannot accompany me in his current physical state either. Let Lanyan accompany me instead."

"Then this slave will go summon Sister Lanyan," I volunteered.

"Hmm."

I called Lanyan over and watched as she attended Zhang Bitong upon her departure.

Yunqing said to me, "Her Ladyship does not require your service today. It seems she is still mindful of your injuries and shows great consideration. Go back and rest early; those wounds still require proper care."

"This slave thanks the Head Attendant." Just as I was about to return to my room, a thought struck me, and I asked Yunqing, "Earlier, Her Ladyship mentioned inadvertently helping Noble Lady Jun. What was that about?"

Yunqing explained, "Lately, Noble Lady Jun has been favored. When she goes to the Palace of Earthly Tranquility to pay her respects to the Empress, it is inevitable that some consorts will make verbal attacks against her—such things are commonplace in the inner court. That day, Her Ladyship spoke bluntly and said a few words on Noble Lady Jun's behalf."

Given that Zhang Bitong's words had clearly dripped with jealousy toward Meng Pingjun, she certainly could not have acted out of true kindness. Most likely, she had done so either to spite the Empress or to jab at Jiang Ziqian or Lin Tanwei.

I did not press Yunqing further, largely because my body was utterly exhausted, and my injuries remained quite severe.

For several consecutive days, Yunqing assigned me no heavy labor, leaving me at most to keep watch by the doorway. During those three days, whenever it was time for my medicine, Fang'er would come to summon me. Thanks to taking the medicine punctually and getting adequate rest without overexertion, my wounds healed considerably. Although my hands still retained a dull ache, minor contacts no longer brought the piercing, bone-deep agony of the previous two days.

Originally, I had been standing watch at the door that afternoon while Zhang Bitong rested inside. I learned from Lanyan that today was the day Han Feiyue was to leave the palace. To spare Lu Ning sorrow, it had been arranged that only Muyan would escort her to the palace gates. On account of the whole ordeal concerning Han Feiyue over the past few days, Lu Ning's health had taken a turn for the worse. Yet despite this, the date of Han Feiyue's departure could not be delayed any further.

In the imperial court, some officials had even submitted memorials arguing that Han Feiyue's offense warranted more than mere demotion to a commoner and banishment from the palace. Therefore, Han Feiyue's prompt departure from this vortex of trouble was the only way to quell the uproar.

Those officials who submitted such memorials were merely acting under the instructions of Prime Minister Gong, driven by the fear that delays might bring unforeseen changes and a desire to pressure His Majesty into exiling Han Feiyue as swiftly as possible.

Upon learning that Han Feiyue was leaving, I suddenly felt a strong urge to see her off. Whatever her original motives might have been, the fact that I had managed to cling to life was indeed thanks to her. Because she was confined to the Palace of Compassionate Tranquility, it had been inconvenient for me to go and express my gratitude. Now that she was departing—and with no telling when we might meet again—we had, after all, shared a bond of mistress and servant. Moreover, she had lost her child, and a lingering sense of guilt remained within my heart.

Since Zhang Bitong was still resting, I briefly explained the situation to Lanyan. Lanyan proved understanding and told me to go ahead, assuring me she would take care of things here for Her Ladyship.

I hurried toward the palace gates, terrified that if I arrived too late, I would miss Han Feiyue altogether.

By the time I sprinted to the gates, I chanced to arrive before Han Feiyue had departed. She was once more clad in crimson; though her countenance appeared haggard, her bearing possessed an even greater grace than in days past.

"Attendant Muyan, I leave the care of the Imperial Grandmother in your hands hereafter. Please ask the Imperial Grandmother to forgive Feiyue for her unfilial conduct," Han Feiyue said, bowing her head slightly to Muyan.

"The Empress Dowager will eventually come to understand Your Ladyships helplessness. Advanced in years as she is, she always finds it difficult to accept partings. I will surely offer her words of comfort. Should the opportunity arise in the future, I hope Your Ladyship will return often to visit the Empress Dowager," Muyan said gently.

"Feiyue certainly shall. Then I bid Attendant farewell!"

Muyan nodded slightly. "Walk slowly, Your Ladyship. You must take good care of yourself on this journey."

"Rest assured, Attendant."

Muyan turned, caught sight of me, then averted her gaze and walked onward.

I approached Han Feiyue, momentarily at a loss for how to address her. After a brief hesitation, I moved to bow, but Han Feiyue stopped me with a smile. "I am now a mere commoner without any noble status. We are equals; you need not bow when you see me. If you still acknowledge me, continue to call me by the name Feiyue."

"Feiyue."

"Mm. I know the purpose of your coming today; you need not thank me. After such an ordeal, to have achieved my heart's desire—I am the one who has gained the most. On the contrary, you are the one who suffered greatly because of me, so you have even less reason to thank me. Tell me, are the injuries on your hands better?"

"Thank Your Ladyship for your concern; this slave is quite well. Despite Your Ladyship's words, this slave must still offer her gratitude. Yet I will say no more, knowing Your Ladyship dislikes long speeches. I have come to see Your Ladyship off with the hope that, once outside, you will take good care of yourself, live boldly with fierce loyalties and fierce revenges, and lead a free and untrammeled life."

Han Feiyue broke into a radiant smile. "Little Xiao, your words bring great comfort to my heart. To settle scores boldly and live freely—that is the life I have always desired. Now that I am completely unburdened, I could not be better. Little Xiao, you too must take good care of yourself. Walk circumspectly in this palace; I have already escaped, but you must remain safe and take care not to fall into another's traps."

"If Your Ladyship should ever have the opportunity, would you care to know who the person behind the scenes was?"

Han Feiyue paused in surprise, then replied, "Naturally I would wish to know, for after all, they harmed my child. Yet in truth, it also feels immaterial. Let us consider it my selfishness—trading the life of my child for my freedom. I am no good mother, and I shall never be a mother again."

"Your Ladyship..." I gasped in shock. Did Han Feiyue's words mean she was utterly unwilling to marry ever again?

Han Feiyue smiled indifferently. "Little Xiao, if one day you truly come to love someone with all your heart, there will no longer be room for a second person within your soul. From the very beginning, I ought not to have compromised and accepted that erroneous marriage. As it stands now, I have simply brought that mistake to an early close."

As Han Feiyue spoke, her gaze remained fixed upon the path behind me. I knew that along that long palace corridor, Han Feiyue was waiting for a particular figure to appear.

"Very well," Han Feiyue let out a breath. "The hour is late, and I must be on my way. Little Xiao, we shall meet again. If we should ever cross paths outside the palace, I shall invite you for wine."

"Agreed, it's a promise," I replied with equal detachment.

Han Feiyue lingered in her gaze toward my back, a flash of disappointment passing through her eyes before she finally withdrew her sight and turned away.

The opening palace doors slowly swallowed her retreating figure.

Long Zhan had not come to see her off after all.