017 There was a certain intensity in the way he looked at me.

A hand clamped over my mouth from behind, stifling the cry I was about to let out. Dragged into the shadows, I left a faint trail in the dust along the path. Desperately, I dug my nails into my assailant’s hand, making him wince in pain and loosen his grip. I spun around—astonished to find it was Jiang Xuan.

For a moment, I was dumbstruck, uncertain what to say, still reeling from the shock of Lady Mei’s death.

“Do you not kneel upon meeting me?” he demanded.

I quickly dropped to my knees. “This servant greets the Ninth Prince.”

“Come with me, now.”

“Ninth Prince, I cannot go with you, I—” I glanced back at Lady Mei’s corpse.

“You know her? Who is she?”

“She’s Lady Mei. She has shown me some kindness.”

“So you know enough to repay favors?”

“In truth…” It wasn’t repayment; perhaps it was I who led Lady Mei to her doom!

“No matter the kindness, you’d best leave with me now. When others arrive, how will you explain yourself? If you stay, I won’t concern myself with you further.” With that, Jiang Xuan rose and strode away.

I looked at Lady Mei’s lifeless form, then at Jiang Xuan’s receding figure, biting my lip before reluctantly following. He was right—if anyone came, how could I possibly explain? As a servant of Cuiwei Palace, I would undoubtedly implicate Zhang Bitong as well. Now that Lady Mei was favored, suspicion could easily fall upon Zhang Bitong, casting her as a jealous murderer. To save herself, she’d cast me aside without hesitation, and I’d become the scapegoat. My own death would be meaningless—and Lady Mei’s would be in vain, too.

I cast one last look at Lady Mei, then hurried after Jiang Xuan.

“So you know enough to follow. You’re not as dull as you look,” Jiang Xuan remarked, glancing back at me.

“Why was the Ninth Prince at Shangmei Court so late?”

“And why were you there?”

“I was…” I could hardly claim I’d gone to admire the plum blossoms. That was the pastime of refined souls, hardly fitting for a eunuch. So I said, “I was picking a few branches for Her Grace. Should His Majesty visit Cuiwei Palace, he might be pleased to see them.”

“Thoughtful of you. I know you’re clever, but don’t go giving my mother foolish advice, understand?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“That’s enough. Go back.”

“Yes.” As I took a step forward, I noticed blood trickling from the back of Jiang Xuan’s hand—a wound I’d inflicted.

“Ninth Prince, your hand…” I pointed hesitantly, ashamed at having hurt him.

Glancing at the wound, Jiang Xuan said coldly, “You’ve got some nerve, daring to injure a prince.”

I knelt swiftly. “Forgive me, Your Highness. I was startled, and you approached without a sound, I—”

“Still making excuses? Insolent!”

“I would not dare!”

Jiang Xuan eyed his hand. “I’ll tend to it myself. You may go.”

“Ninth Prince…”

“What is it?”

“Allow me to bandage it for you. The cold might make it worse.”

He said nothing, but his silence was consent. I took out a handkerchief and gently wiped away the blood, then bandaged his hand.

Jiang Xuan looked at the cloth on his hand. “A little eunuch like you, carrying a handkerchief?”

My heart skipped. Hurriedly, I explained, “A palace maid gave it to me, so I kept it.”

“With your looks—neither man nor woman—someone actually cares for you?”

“I’m nothing like Your Highness.”

“And what could you possibly have in common with me? Get out!”

“Yes!” I scuttled away as quickly as I could.

Though I returned to my quarters, the matter of Lady Mei’s death haunted me through a sleepless night.

The next morning, after tidying the courtyard, Hongxiu called me over.

“Sister Hongxiu, did you need something?”

She handed me a food box. “Didn’t you ask me to prepare another meal for you? I had time today—take it.”

I remembered Long Zhan had asked for more food; I had relayed this to Hongxiu, who only said she’d do it when she had time. I’d nearly forgotten, but she’d actually made something for me today.

“What’s wrong, don’t like it? I’ll take it back,” Hongxiu said, seeing my lack of enthusiasm.

“Don’t be angry, Sister. I just slept poorly last night and feel out of sorts today. Please don’t take offense.”

“Fine, then. Tell me, who’s this for?”

“Oh, just for a few little eunuchs. I came from the Office of Attendants, after all—I should look in on them from time to time.”

“At least you have some conscience. What happened yesterday?”

“It’s nothing, nothing at all.”

“I thought I saw you go out, didn’t I?”

“You must have been mistaken, Sister. I only stepped out for a bit.”

“Come back soon—Her Grace will return from the Empress Dowager’s soon and need attendance.”

“Yes, I understand.”

Carrying the food box, I made my way to Long Zhan’s quarters. When I entered, he was cleaning his sword. Upon seeing me—and the food box in hand—he immediately set the sword aside.

I took out the dishes and set them before him, then turned to leave.

“Wait!” he called.

I stopped. “Does Lord Long have further orders?”

“You look unwell. Did you get up early to prepare this?”

“I didn’t make it myself.”

“No? Then why do you look so wan—”

“It’s nothing. Thank you for your concern, my lord. If there’s nothing else, I’ll take my leave.”

“Sit. Watch me eat. When I’m done, clear up and go.”

…Long Zhan was just bullying me now!

Resigned, I sat and watched him eat. The longer I sat, the more my nose stung. All through the night, I had fought back tears, afraid someone might hear me.

Perhaps it was I who had led Lady Mei to her death. I’d told Ping’er to have her visit Shangmei Court more often, knowing the Emperor loved plum blossoms and would surely visit the garden himself. Lady Mei, so graceful and lovely, would surely allure him more than any blossom. I hadn’t been wrong—she was indeed favored, and the Emperor seemed truly fond of her. But that very favor brought envy and, ultimately, disaster. Her face was slashed so cruelly; surely it was someone jealous of her beauty.

Could it have been Lin Tanwei?

It couldn’t have been Zhang Bitong—she was not cunning enough, and as someone in Cuiwei Palace, I would have heard of any such scheme.

But whoever killed her, it was I who set her on this path.

The more I thought of it, the more wretched I felt. The image of Lady Mei when I first met her, and the sight of her corpse in the plum garden, haunted me.

At last, I broke down and wept.

Long Zhan, seeing my tears, immediately set down his chopsticks. “What’s wrong with you?”

I couldn’t stop, sobbing right there. I didn’t even know why I let myself cry in front of him—perhaps because here, I felt safe.

“Hey, stop crying. You’re driving me mad,” Long Zhan barked, coming over to stand beside me.

Still weeping, I seized the hem of his robe, wiping my face on it—snot and tears alike. Finally, I simply leaned into his chest and wailed.

“You’re a grown man, and you’re clinging to me crying?” he muttered.

I looked up at him and shouted, “So what if I’m a man? Can’t a man cry? Who says otherwise? Besides, I’m not even—”

“Not what?” Long Zhan’s gaze suddenly grew intense.

Wiping my tears with the back of my hand, I said, “Besides, I’m not a man—I’m a eunuch!”

“Then stay away from me!” He yanked his robe back angrily and turned away.

“Fine, I’ll stay away, you petty man!” I sniffed and began clearing the dishes in a huff.

“You—why do you act so much like… like a girl?” he blurted.

My hands froze. I glared at him. “How am I like a girl? If anything, only half a girl.”

“You…”

“There won’t be a next time. Don’t expect me to bring you food again.”

Just then, a guard hurried in. “Reporting to Lord Long! A body has been found in Shangmei Court. Please come at once!”

“A body in Shangmei Court—what does that have to do with the Imperial Guards?”

“My lord, it’s Lady Mei, the Emperor’s current favorite. His Majesty commands you to personally investigate!”

At Lady Mei’s name, my body went rigid. Could Long Zhan discover the real murderer?

“Very well. I’ll go at once.”

“Yes, my lord!”

As the guard left, I picked up the food box, ready to leave. Long Zhan, sword in hand, suddenly turned to me. “Xiao Xiaozi—”

“I am here!”

“Were you crying over Lady Mei’s death?”

He must have noticed my subtle reactions—no wonder he was made Commander of the Imperial Guards.

Since he’d already seen through me, there was no point in hiding it. “This servant met Lady Mei a few times. When I was wrongly accused by Lady Tan and slapped, it was Lady Mei who spoke for me and later gave me ointment.”

“Xiao Xiaozi!” Long Zhan suddenly barked. “I only just learned of Lady Mei’s death, but you were weeping here earlier. Tell me, what are you hiding?”

Damn—it had slipped my mind, the order of events! I quickly set down the food box and knelt. “I confess my guilt, but I swear—I am innocent!”

“I’m not accusing you—I just want to know what you know.”

I answered honestly. “Yesterday, I went to pick plum branches for Her Grace, but I stumbled upon Lady Mei’s body.”

“Why didn’t you report it?”

“I was in the plum garden at night—no one could vouch for me, and I feared implicating my mistress, so I… I slipped away.”

“Coward.”

I didn’t protest.

“But your grief seems genuine. I hope you’re not lying to me. If I find you’re involved, I’ll show no mercy!”

“I beg you to find the truth, my lord. I thank you in advance!”

“I serve only His Majesty. Spare me your thanks.” With that, Long Zhan took up his sword and left.

On my way back to Cuiwei Palace, I caught sight of someone—my elder sister, Xiao Ruo!