She was grateful that her chest was as flat as an airstrip.

When I was led to the door by Eunuch He’s hands, I stopped and looked back at the residence where I had lived for fourteen years. Though I didn’t know what awaited me, I knew I would never return—not as the disgraced person I was now, at least.

“Father, Mother, where is he taking little sister?” Xiao Ruo’s voice was still innocent and lively, the clear tone of a girl yet to leave her home.

“Your sister is going to a good place. Things will be different for her from now on,” Qin Fang replied, her meaning deep and inscrutable. When I turned to look at her, the slight smile at her lips was one I would never forget for the rest of my life.

It was the smile of someone pushing me into the fire without the faintest hesitation.

“Will I still be able to see Azhi in the future?”

“Of course you will. You sisters must support each other,” Father said.

Is that so? Was I not just a tool to help Xiao Ruo?

I followed Eunuch He to a guesthouse, where I was taken to bathe in hot water. In winter, a hot bath was a rare comfort. I was nearly asleep when I was dragged out, naked. Fortunately, my captor was also an effeminate eunuch, and though I was already fourteen, my body was still underdeveloped.

The young eunuch looked at me, a flash of lewdness in his eyes. I splashed hot water with my hand and glared at him. The inappropriate look on his face faded.

I wore nothing underneath, just a thin robe over my skin, and then a thick coat. Thus dressed, I was sent into Eunuch He’s room.

Pushed forward, I fell to my knees before him. The room was warm, a brazier burning with charcoal. Eunuch He had changed into another set of clothes and sat beside the table, turning a wine cup in his hand.

“Come here!” His finger curled in a feminine gesture, his voice sharp and high.

The young eunuch had already left, closing the door behind him. I knelt there, too afraid to move. I didn’t know what awaited me if I obeyed.

“Come here,” Eunuch He called again, pointing to a chicken leg on the table. “Hungry? Come over and you can eat.”

I swallowed; I was indeed hungry. I hadn’t eaten all day, last night’s meal nothing but a cold, hard bun.

As I stared at the chicken leg, I told myself not to think too much. Only if I ate and kept up my strength could I do what I wanted.

So, like a wolf, I pounced on my prey. But just as I bit into the chicken leg, I suddenly felt a grip around me—Eunuch He had seized me. I forgot the food and began to struggle, kicking my legs, but I was no match for his strength. He tore off my coat and held it in his hand, his other hand gripping my skinny waist. Only the thin robe was left; one pull and I’d be completely exposed in front of him.

But Eunuch He didn’t rip it off right away. Instead, he let out a sinister laugh. “Your parents have already given you to me. If you please me well, I’ll let you eat chicken legs every day. I like little ones like you the best, not yet in bloom. Let me take good care of you, hmm?”

He leaned in, inhaling near my nose, his face full of intoxicated delight. “A virgin’s scent is truly different—so pleasant!”

“Let me go,” I said coldly.

“Why fight it? Life with me won’t be so bad. Oh, that little glare… I know you’re still young and scared. I promise I’ll be gentle.” His hand slid inside my robe. His palm was hot, but my body was cold. The touch burned me and, in a burst of strength, I bent down and bit his hand as hard as I could.

“Ow!” He yelped, then slapped me across the face. My thin body collapsed to the ground, my cheek burning.

I pulled my robe tight, glaring at him with a ferocity like a wolf’s.

I thought he’d beat me to death, or at least within an inch of it, but instead he sneered, “What a temper this little girl has. Fine, we’ll play it your way.”

He glanced at his hand, then spat, “But you’re just an ungrateful wretch. Someone, come here!” At his command, a young eunuch entered. “Let her stand outside. She’ll come back in when she learns obedience.”

I was yanked up and made to stand in the courtyard. Snow was falling thickly, swirling everywhere. I wore only a thin robe and shivered violently.

So cold, so unbearably cold.

Why couldn’t I be in a warm room this winter? Why not at my father’s knee?

At home, I was less than a servant; now, I had to face this pervert. Did my mother bring me into this world just to suffer?

No!

I, Xiao Zhi, was not meant for this.

The only thing I regretted now was not biting off more of the chicken leg earlier. Even if that wretch had grabbed me, I should have clung to the drumstick with my teeth. At least I wouldn’t be so hungry now.

I thought I would be left out all night or faint in the snow, but late in the night, someone rushed into Eunuch He’s room. Soon the entire guesthouse was thrown into a flurry of activity, people packing up hastily.

“Eunuch He, the carriage is ready. But the chosen maidens—” the young eunuch reported.

“They’ll enter the palace at dawn as planned. Leave that to Lord Xiao,” Eunuch He replied.

“Yes, and what about her?” The eunuch pointed at me.

Eunuch He glanced over. “Dress her in your clothes. Since she belongs to me now, I won’t toss her aside without playing my fill.”

“Understood. Where will she be sent—?”

“No need. It’s urgent. We’ll decide once we reach the palace.”

“Yes, I’ll see to it at once.”

I had no idea what had happened. I was simply changed into eunuch’s clothing and bundled into a carriage. The entire guesthouse was emptied in moments.

Where was I being taken? What awaited me? I wanted to know, but I was too cold, too exhausted. I fell asleep almost as soon as the carriage began to move.

During that time, my body burned with fever. I drifted in and out of dreams, vaguely aware that someone fed me rice gruel, enough to keep me alive. I heard voices around me, but caught no clear words.

When I woke again, I found myself in a completely unfamiliar place.

My consciousness slowly returned, as if I’d died and been reborn, and I felt utterly drained.

“What bad luck. Eunuch He brought back a little eunuch, and he fell ill as soon as he entered the palace. It’s probably malaria, isn’t it?” I heard someone speaking nearby.

“Don’t say that. He’s Eunuch He’s relative. Didn’t you see the orders to look after him? If he dies, we’ll be in trouble.”

“Who knows how long Eunuch He will stay in favor? Haven’t you heard? The Empress and the Dowager are at odds now. Eunuch He is—”

The conversation trailed off. I didn’t catch every word, but I suddenly realized something: Had I entered the palace? Had I come here in the blink of an eye, from fainting at home to this place Xiao Ruo had always longed for?

I got up, poured myself a cup of tea, and drank it. The windows and doors of my room were tightly shut, probably for fear that I might spread disease.

I went to open the window for some air, but just as I did, I saw a masked figure emerge from another room. Behind him, in that room, several bodies lay on the floor.

Corpses! Blood snaked across the floor!

Among them was Eunuch He.

I tried to shut the window and pretend I’d seen nothing, but it was too late—the masked intruder had already seen me. He moved with the grace of a dragon, and in an instant, stood before me, his sword pressed to my throat.

It was clear what would happen next. I had seen what I shouldn’t; he would have to silence me.

“There’s someone else here?” The man sounded surprised. I really was an unexpected complication—he must have thought it all through, only to stumble upon me by accident.

“Don’t kill me.” The will to live is strong in all people; I didn’t want to die as soon as I entered the palace.

“You have no choice,” he said coldly, pressing the sword closer.

“I could be your witness,” I blurted out, inspiration striking in my desperation.

The masked man hesitated. I continued, “Whoever you are, there will be an investigation. Eunuch He was favored by the Emperor; his death will be traced back to those with grudges against him. But if I testify, his death will have nothing to do with your master.”

He paused, then asked, “Why should I believe you?”

“Because I want to live.”

He looked me up and down.

I glanced nervously at my chest, hoping my disguise would not be seen through. But when I checked, I was relieved. I silently thanked my mother for her flat chest, inherited from her.